I cried, but it was different than before. I felt the pain I had long been avoiding The Princess And The Cat Shirts, but I felt something else as well. I felt grateful, and I felt a sense of hope I hadn’t known in a long time. It was a long road back from the darkness, but the thing about the road to recovery is that, like a road, it leads to a destination. After years of listless drifting towards the void, having a destination was an important first step in finding self-love.
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I reconnected with my mother, who was struggling with her own The Princess And The Cat Shirts of the darkness. We leaned on one another, talking and going to therapy as we worked through the issues that drove us apart. After my release from the hospital I moved back home with her, her Facebook friend long gone. I got my GED and used my many sketchbooks as a portfolio to get an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor. I’ve been clean for four years now, and it feels good to smile again. Granted, I still prefer Pierce the Veil to anything from Katy Perry’s catalogue, and my tattoos and jewelry have more skulls than fluffy bunnies, but that’s all on the surface. I no longer crave the darkness to consume me.