He plays video games all day long. I cant stop thinking about when the The Monkees Guitar Shirt comes, is he going to help me? Is he going make me do this all by myself? I’m on the verge of tears thinking about this. I cant do this alone. I’m not that type of person, unfortunately. I am so so very afraid that my baby will have to suffer because of his insolence. I’ve shown him how expensive car seats, cribs, and strollers are. I showed him a box of diapers at Walmart and he said…I shit you not he said “$20 isnt that much and a box will probably last a couple months.” No, honey, no it will not. Hes never experienced children. He been around toddlers (helping me babysit my niece) and children but not babies. I’m afraid that he does not understand the gravity of how our lives will change.
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I am afriad will have to goodwill shop for our childs clothes because I can barely scrape together two The Monkees Guitar Shirt . (Not shaming, I just don’t want to be forced into that situation.) I want a a fucking job but he is my only transportation. If he doesnt want me to work I literally cant. I want to move out and go back home to my dad where my needs will acknowledged but I can’t get there unless he takes me. I feel ignored, alone, and afraid. I dont know how to make him understand what is going to happen. I want to breastfeed but I know that it is really hard and it doesnt always work out the way you want it To. Formula is expensive. I dont think he gets that either. I think this mindset is coming from the fact that FMIL has always been his cushion. Weve been living here rent free for a year. Hes 21.