“Honey you need to eat something. Do you want me to toast a bagel for you and you can eat it on the Paw Cat Sunflower T-Shirt ? Toast?” She didn’t even acknowledge my words. She made a beeline for the car, methodically placed her backpack neatly in the seat next to hers and got in. I was kind of baffled. This was all really strange and very unlike her normal self. She’d been quiet, but not rude. I dropped the kids off and headed to work. My mind was miles away, wondering what those little wheels in Kinley’s brain were churning. I pondered whether or not I should find a child psychologist. Kinley had spoken to a grief counselor at the hospital and for a few weeks after being discharged, but the counselor had never shown any major concern. She was quite pleased with Kinley’s progress and acceptance of the situation. She had expressed emotion and was willing and able to voice her pain. This was healthy, according to the professional. She did tell me that it could change, and that this sweet six year old might start to develop some strange or unusual behaviors. Maybe that’s what this was.
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Nothing has happened in weeks, until last night. Last night, the same Paw Cat Sunflower T-Shirt all over again. I woke up around 2am to find Kinley and Bo standing, holding hands in my bedroom doorway, illuminated by the night light I’d plugged in a week or so ago. Except this time, she wouldn’t let go of Bo’s hand when I reached for him. Bo appeared to be sound asleep, just following what she was doing. I ended up having to scream at her and peel her hand open to get her to let go of him, and by that point Bo was wide awake and crying hysterically. Last night, though… Last night Kinley just stood there, staring at me from the doorway for at least an hour. I laid Bo to my right and hummed softly to him until he was asleep, taking part in a very intense staring contest with my niece.
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