Two people in a relationship are two individuals with personal Messy Bun Librarian Teacher Life Back to School T Shirt, values, ideas, behaviors, needs, and opinions to prioritize and defend. Without your own goals, values, ideas, etc., you have no identity. But love requires us to sacrifice some of this independent identity for the good of others. The ego must be held back, which creates an internal tension that can lead to feelings of resentment and hostility. Forethought and novelty don’t coincide with the everyday realities of long-term relationships. And self-sacrifice opposes much of what we value in our culture.
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I am answering this question anonymously because I don’t want to hurt the relatives of the person I mention in this answer. Also, some of the Messy Bun Librarian Teacher Life Back to School T Shirt that helped this person might not want their help to be known. While this does not concern a child of mine, it does involve cutting off ties with a person I cared a lot for. I am male, and the person was female. Our relationship was what would usually be termed platonic. At several points, we both considered dating each other, but we never dated. I think she wanted to keep me as a friend, because most of her serious relationships ended very badly. I knew this person for about 21 years. Let’s call her Betty (which has no letters in common with her real name).
I don’t have a Messy Bun Librarian Teacher Life Back to School T Shirt for you. I am in a very similar boat. My husband cheated at the beginning of our marriage. Slept with a co-worker. 4x We are together 33 yrs married 27. I found out from the women’s husband nov 2019. We are still trying to move past this. Verrry hard. If ur situation happened to me before marriage. I wouldn’t even think about it. Hurt yes , but if your marriage was good since then, I would forgive and move on. If u don’t have any suspicion of another betrayal, and ur wife was good to u and your home. Move on. But I would definitely let her squirm in her pain for awhile. She should have taken it to her grave. Best of luck. Keep us posted.