And then maybe it’s saying to your partner: I feel worried about our Meet Me At The 19th Hole Golf Vintage shirt , because this relationship is really important to me and I want it to be strong. I noticed that we haven’t been hanging out as much. I was curious if you’d noticed that or had any ideas about why it could be?’ Look into interpersonal effectiveness skills from dialectical behavioral therapy, especially DEARMAN, it’s another great step-by-step, sort of plug n’ okay formula for communicating effectively with others in a way that is safe and respectful for everyone involved. I know sometimes it can seem like a lot, but it gets easier as you practice. And healthy relationships are SO GODDAMN REWARDING, every shred of effort is absolutely worth it.
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I think of codependent traits like alcohol: some people and some relationships function just Meet Me At The 19th Hole Golf Vintage shirt , using it in moderation. ‘Have a drink to unwind after work’ isn’t necessarily bad advice. But it’s REALLY bad advice for an alcoholic. When I use codependency to meet my needs, shit gets bad and stays worse. ‘Interdependency’, on the other hand, is compatible with healthy intimate relationships, and this could be what your counselor is advocating for. Codependency is unfortunately really normalized in popular culture, so don’t feel bad for being confused! If you’re relatively stable at the moment, consider checking out The Human Magnet Syndrome. It really helped me understand the origins of my codependent behavior and the choices I was making in my relationship.