I’ll offer another possible explanation for a behavior shift like this, at least in the Live Laugh Love shirt sense (not trying to make any judgements about you or your friends but extrapolating from scenes I personally have been in).When a bunch of single friends are together, and especially if they share the trait of bad luck in relationships, it can sometimes be the case that they have one or more personality traits or assumptions that they make which are viewed by potential mates as toxic. Functionally this works a lot like living in a house with an odor problem that you grow nose-blind to. Any guests to the house will not like staying around, but our culture’s social norms also discourage offering feedback as to their grievance and the people living in the building have no easy way to perceive what the problem is, and may reasonably draw incorrect conclusions from insufficient evidence.But if one member of such a group of singles gets into a relationship, sometimes it can be like spending time out of the nose-blind building and then some of those perceived toxic traits can become easier to notice. This gets amplified by the effect that people have the hardest time dealing with personality traits that remind them of aspect of themselves or their past that they are the least proud of.
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When that happens, that’s hard feedback to communicate. Harder still for folk who aren’t already experts in social diplomacy. Sincere attempts to try to offer Live Laugh Love shirt are far more likely to backfire thanks to standard human nature about constructive criticism, accusations of survivor’s fallacy are thrown in, envy and sour grapes from the friend group, etc.But then if the expat suppresses the cringe and tries to keep the concern to themselves, that’s pretty naturally going to get perceived as snobbery to the original friend group.Plus this dynamic happens in other situations: moving out of an impoverished neighborhood, quitting an addictive habit like smoking/drinking/narcotic drugs, hell you don’t even want to know the controversy the deaf community faces over cochlear implants. And those are all shades of the same thing.But yeah, it’s also true that folk leaving one group to join a more enviable one (singles to relationships et al) can also get cocky or two-faced towards their friends sometimes too. But it’s also good to be aware of potential alternative causes is all
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