Ask Dad what I do for a living, and he will probably say I’m an artist. I’m 45 and he still does not know that my 20-year-career has nothing whatsoever to do with art…it just became much easier for him to remember me drawing for LEAVE THE TIMEOUTS TAKE THE PIG TEE SHIRT and define me this way for time eternal, than to take an actual interest in—and an unbiased look at—how I think, feel, work, or spend my days. Add to that the fact that he neither understood nor valued the act of drawing for hours, and you have not only an (old and outdated) paradigm, but one that’s flavored with bonus contempt.
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Man, if you’ll talk about your own kids this way, how do you treat people you’re less fond of LEAVE THE TIMEOUTS TAKE THE PIG TEE SHIRT ? But as says, the “positive” paradigms do them no favors either. I remember reading an article somewhere once that discussed the power of telling your son or daughter, “I love watching you _____” where X=doing something the child enjoys or succeeds at. As a former child and as a parent, this struck me as perfect, because our kids do need our approval—they want to make us proud—but it should make us proud to see them doing something that makes them proud, as well. It is hard for us to resist typecasting our kids, and it’s common practice (and I’m sure we do it to our parents, as well). I think if that dynamic is at play, it’s wise to take your parents’ opinions and advisement with more than a grain of salt–if at all. Where advice on life affairs is concerned, your mileage may vary, but first order of business ought to be considering how well they’ve done in the topic at hand—and adjust your credence accordingly.