Yeah, no what you are experiencing is accurate. The biggest thing a I Like Gardening And Maybe Three People shirt needs to understand during this process is that your feelings are real and valid. Listen to them. This may be textbook, but im not sure so – in my case what has happened as I began accessing my feelings, I couldn’t always label them at first because I didn’t know what they were at all. I only could understand primary emotions, not the secondary emotions, much less explain them or communicate them with seemingly purposeless “i feel” statements. Naturally, in knowing that part of this growth process was communicating that which I had held back for literally decades, I over compensated.
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I’m immediately in fight or flight when I go to speak up for myself. This tends to I Like Gardening And Maybe Three People shirt over into aggression and perceived “anger” VERY fast. Then people shut down on you because you’re “out of control” but in reality, you are just trying to communicate something specific, or feel harmed in some way but don’t really know why. As the anxiety builds, communication ability degrades, and before you know it you’re a non-communicative “emotional expression” and are yet again – labeled “the problem” This feedback loop drives BDP sufferers to homicidal and suicidal ideation, splitting and extreme behaviour.