That reminds me of a story.We’re sitting in the Cigar Lounge in the Canyon Hotel in north-central Kurdistan, in the I Just Want To Drink Beer And Ignore All Of My Old Man Problems Hawaiian Shirt air-conditioned patio section, of course, drinking cold treble potato juice and citrus cocktails, with lime wheels, of course. We’re no savages. Double Wild Turkey 101 Rye shooters on the side, with full-pint Sapporo Black beer chasers, literally hiding from the brutish realities of this increasingly intensely foul year, two thousand and twenty, CE.Arr! Jesus Seafaring Christ on an indigo moonlit bay, Rolf”, I said, in a most exasperated tone.We barely made it out of there with our hides intact. How dare these sorry landlubbing fuckers try and sandbag a couple of Doctors of Geology and Petroleum Engineering by inviting us into their benighted little shithole of a country to fix their fuck-ups and then trying to dry-gulch us? Arrr!
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Rolf, who by some quirk of the hand dealt by genetics, is actually larger than me. He stands up, only to return with a I Just Want To Drink Beer And Ignore All Of My Old Man Problems Hawaiian Shirt round of drinks and smokes but forbids me partaking until I calm down.Steady, Rock”, Rolf says, ordering another round as he sees I’m about to go off again.Damn right I’m about to go off again.Arr! Those goddamned sorry flatland motherfuckers! I still know my basic detonic chemistry. Let me go to a local grocery store and get just a few household chemicals. Let mix them in the proper proportions. Let me send by courier a few “Care Packages”…Those manky cocksuckers! Ar, Jim-Bob. Keelhaul the women and children first!”I growled so loudly that fully half the people in the lounge, Oil Patch refugees all, got up, and quietly moved further away.Yeah, it was just another contract to sort out a couple of burning oil wells. Another day in the life. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way.
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